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Day 78: I choose to put my attention on the blessings in my life

Intention of the day: From now on, I PLEDGE to give my attention to the good things

Morning writing: This lesson kicked me in the emotional gut. I'm 100% guilty of this bad habit. This is exactly what my ex would complain about me - that I was always SEARCHING for a problem. I'd invent a potential problem, and freak out over that. If you create problems in life - then yep, you'll have problems. But if you focus on the GOOD rather than the bad... then you can just have a happier life overall. I have fallen into a habit of self-protection and searching for red flags when I'm in a relationship. But to be in a successful partnership, that can't be a constant. There needs to be trust and faith, otherwise why are you with that person? If I'm constantly on the self-defense, the other person is constantly dealing with an onslaught of interrogations. It's toxic and if I don't want to be a Debbie Downer, then it's time to fucking stop. Like the lesson says, I must be aware and catch myself when I'm doing this. If it happens, I must distract my mind and think about something else. Inventing potential problems is a ridiculous thing to do. Let life happen naturally and trust that if I put out enough good karma, then good will come back to me too. This is just a bad habit that I need to kick. It doesn't mean I'm a tainted and bad person.

Tarot Reading:

Wow my tarot cards kicked my ass too lol. I asked for a Past/Present/Future regarding my love life:

Past: Eight of Wands Reversed (delays, frustration, holding off)
This card represents how I've been hitting obstacles and facing frustration in my search for love, and haven't been able to find what I'm looking for. I'm trying to charge ahead but I'm still not ready.

Present: Knight of Wands (energy, passion, lust, adventure, impulsiveness)
Currently, I'm horny and lusting after a coworker... yeah I'm kind of chomping at the bit to get back into dating again. But I must realize that there is no timeline for this, and while I'm impatient and wanting to get back out there, I must wait until I'm really happy with myself first.

Future: King of Cups (emotional balance, emotional control, generosity)
If I can manage to wait until I have more emotional balance, by practicing my lessons and really working towards being my best me, I will find the balance that I need to maintain a healthy relationship. It's very simple, really. Just keep working towards my inner light. Then the right guy will find me and I won't have to worry about inventing problems, because I will be balanced and in control... I won't be having those thoughts. That's my goal.

It's going to be okay!! 💗

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