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Day 54: There is nothing to fear

Intention of the day: Be aware of when my protective fear is rising up and causing me to act a certain way. It's mostly in my head and there is nothing to fear.

Morning writing: I believe this marks the half way point through the Rituals for Transformation book! Today's lesson is a continuation from yesterday, continuing to stress to be aware of when I'm in this self-protective-fear-mode and try to get myself out of it by remembering that this is mostly made up in my brain and not real. The lesson mentioned at the bottom that there is a Love Warrior within me, fighting to shed light and love onto my negative emotions. I like this imagery. For me, I plan to use this in my meditation - as I fill myself with light, I am the Love Warrior. It's like the terracotta warriors from China, except golden and filled with inner light and love. This should work well!

Tarot Reading:

IV The Emperor (authority, father figure, structure, solid foundation)
XX Judgement (judgement, rebirth, inner calling, absolution)
XII The Hanged Man (suspension, restriction, letting go, sacrifice)

Sooooooo I read on the internet that Taurus should not go on first dates while Mercury is in retrograde. I was like oh good cuz I'm already boycotting dating! But I still enjoy going on dates and I miss making new connections... so when I found out that 4/15 was when Mercury goes direct, I thought good I can start dating again after that date! My spirit guides say otherwise, apparently. I've always focused on being with guys, as evidenced by the Emperor who always seems to show up to symbolize that priority. Judgement reminds me that I've been doing a lot of good work towards rebirth and focusing on my inner light. The Hanged Man represents that in order to continue down my path of enlightenment, I must sacrifice this dating life for a while longer. I wish that wasn't the case... my birthday is 4/21!! :(
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