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Day 53: I forgive myself for my fear

Intention of the day: Fears from past instances hinders my light and limits myself. Free my heart from fear that prevents me from living fully.

Morning writing: I totally have this problem. I have a lot of 'trust issues' and 'abandonment issues' due to events that happened in my past. As the lesson states, I definitely search for red flags that might indicate that this will happen to me again. And as I know from my life... this causes problems. In dating, many guys have told me to trust them and not assume that they are like the last guy. But it's very hard to fight the fear for self-preservation. However, its obvious that this type of fear can stop me from being my full self. It certainly played a part in my relationship with my ex falling apart. This is something I need to be more aware of, because if I can identify this reaction in the moment, maybe I can stop the cycle from happening. I need to reprogram my brain to not go straight to fear when faced with something that has burned me in the past.

Tarot Reading:

VIII Strength (strength, courage, patience, control, compassion)
II The High Priestess (intuition, higher powers, mystery, subconscious mind)
0 The Fool (beginnings, spontaneity, a free spirit, innocence)

I didn't ask a question, and I'm not reading this as PPF anymore. Just general life guidance today. My spirit guides tell me to be continue to gain my strength and work on reaching my high powers. I am continuing to get cards about new beginnings so I will continue down this path of not talking to dudes or focusing on dating, and instead just focusing on me.

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