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Day 51: I forgive myself for my saddness

Intention of the day: If I feel sad, don't make it worse by beating myself up and saying that something is wrong with me.

Morning writing: I have mixed feelings about this lesson. Partly, it's easy. When I'm crying, I agree that it has a therapeutic effect. I tend not to stifle my tears and let them flow instead. However, a lot of the time if I'm merely sad, I'll beat myself up. And now that I'm thinking about it, I tend to beat myself up until I cry - and then I have the therapeutic effect I just mentioned. Hmm. That kind of seems like I'm subconsciously escalating an issue to a point where I cry, so that I can feel better. What if I didn't have to take it to that next level? What if I nip it in the bud and work on my sadness before it turns into a waterworks show? This is something that I need to focus my intention on for a while.

Tarot Past/Present/Future:

XXI The World (completion, integration, accomplishment, travel)
XV The Devil (bondage, addiction, sexuality, materialism)
II The High Priestess (intuition, higher powers, mystery, subconscious mind)

Wow. This is bugging me out a little. Yesterday I was thinking that maybe I should skip my upcoming trip to Boston, due to the injury, not wanting another solo trip, need someone to take care of my cat... lots of reasons. But it's all paid for and I enjoy going, so I feel torn. So I asked my spirit guides as I was shuffling, should I go on the trip? Is it worth it? Is it worth risking my injury, worth the cost of boarding my cat/imposing on my family... as I shuffled, it kind of seemed that I had made up my mind already. Then my spread - my path had been towards travel and adding another convention panel accolade to my list. But at present - I see it as a negative. If I'm attending on my own, it's not as much of a fun vacation, it's an obligation. I end up spending a lot of money. At the past few conventions I've just been kind of going through the motions. My future is up to me and I should follow my intuition. I should trust my gut feelings that this is a trip that I can skip. Traveling alone with a broken arm is not advised. Prissy princess time continues!! :D
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