Skip to main content

Day 49: I forgive myself for my ANGER

Intention of the day: The self-righteous anger path leads to anxiety and friendship issues. Be aware of when this anger is rising and definitely try not to deflect anger onto others.

Morning writing: This lesson makes me feel slightly guilty for my behavior towards my ex, because I know I've been lashing out at him due to anger. I should be more angry with myself for expecting a different outcome with that kid. But today, I must feel my anger and really think about it's roots. Doing this will allow me to fully process the emotion, forgive myself, and move forward. So I'm angry that the relationship (that never really existed) didn't work out. I'm angry that I had put faith in someone who warned me not to do so. I'm angry that I was living for an idealistic version of a person, and he can't live up to these idealistic expectations. Nobody can. For me to get angry every time someone doesn't meet my personal standards is a waste of my energy. Rather than making it dramatic, I can just 'change the channel' and stop interacting with a toxic person in my life. No need for the theatrics. I can't make someone else act differently, they have to want to do it for their own self. Berating and yelling at someone and pointing out their wrongdoing will only make someone defensive and in that state of mind they aren't really listening to you anymore anyway. It's all futile. Change the frequency!!

Tarot Past/Present/Future:

IX The Hermit (soul searching, introspection, being alone, inner guidance)
I The Magician (power, skill, concentration, action, resourcefulness)
X Wheel of Fortune (good luck, karma, life cycles, destiny, a turning point)

General guidance was really all I asked for, and I got a nice encouraging message from my spirit guides. I've been working on my inner self, and it's good for me. I must continue to concentrate on this work, continue to meditate and improve my skills. Continue to read and do things for myself. If I do this, I will find better karma, luck and happiness. :)
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Day 62: I release the world from my control

Intention of the day: Meditate on releasing my need to be in control. Trust that things will all be taken care of by the Universe. Morning writing: I had a nice long meditation in my morning routine today. It's Friday and my boss is out for a vacay so if I'm a little late it's not a big deal. Besides, things will all be taken care of by the Universe! I have had control issues for a while. Insecurity makes you want to try to control everything that you can, as a defense mechanism. You think that if you control how people act or where they go, then they will act and do whatever you want and you will not get hurt. This is unhealthy and simply not possible. I can't control anything except for myself, my actions, and my reactions. My relationship with my ex was toxic because I wanted to control him. I wanted him to be the perfect version of himself that was inside my head. But that person isn't real and the real guy didn't want to be that perfect self, for whatever...
Post a Comment
Read more

Day 65: I am ONE with the DIVINE

Intention of the day: I am one with the Divine, Source Energy and the Universe... it is all the same oneness that is me. Morning writing: This lesson got me deep. The words on the page were simple enough, that we are all made of the same Divine, the same Source Energy, and we should recognize that we are all the Divine. We are all Source Energy. They have this same idea in the Old Testament, so I assume that is where the author is getting this from. But when I meditated on it, the concept not only makes perfect sense, it made me feel very zen. In my meditation I have been trying to see outside my body, to zoom out and see a bigger picture. In the past I was able to visualize the train that I was on, traveling at fast speed across the island. This morning I concentrated on the Source Energy of the Universe. I am a part of this Universe, and it is a part of me. I meditated on how I am merely a red blood cell moving through the streets, which are just veins running along the skin of thi...
Post a Comment
Read more

Day 92: I have patience for those who are asleep and confused

Intention of the day: Practice patience and forgiveness for those who have become blind to their inner light. Help them to see it. Morning writing: In my meditation, I have been trying to emanate my inner light to others. I don't know if it works. I think I need to build up my strength and maybe my inner light will have more reach. Maybe it's my aura? I am trying to focus on spreading the light and good karma so that others can soak it in. Hopefully it helps. In addition, today's lesson is a way to think about forgiveness. People who have wronged me or mankind have become blinded or confused and cannot sense their connection to the universe. They do not sense the light and happiness that I know is within me, so they do not have my strength; they lash out. I must try to reach these people, and at the very least forgive them for any wrongdoings. I had a very lucid dream this morning, which is rare for me. I woke up early, and sometimes when I do that I like to meditate wh...
Post a Comment
Read more