Skip to main content

Day 48: When I harbor resentments of the world, I am not seeing the whole TRUTH

Intention of the day: While it's important to have high standards, there is no reason to resent those who do not make the cut.

Morning writing: This is an interesting lesson. At first I was like, oh this is just a repeat about resentment! But then I started thinking about how I was arguing with my ex last night because while he says he wants to 'stay friends' he really just wants to be my herb dealer. I said I have high standards for my friends, they need to give a shit about me and want to hang out with me, aside from making fucking money off of me. And then we proceeded to argue about how he's a piece of shit (his words, not mine). But this lesson today is important. Sure, that jerk isn't good enough to be in my life anymore, this is clear. However, the lesson is to not RESENT him. Not hate him and hold a grudge. All that negativity will just cloud my mind, add anxiety and alter the truth. I know he's not an evil person at heart, he's just not good at being my friend. I will move on and stop attempting to maintain a friendly relationship with this kid, without turning it into an all out war. Simply... bye Felicia!


Tarot Past/Present/Future:

XX Judgement (judgement, rebirth, inner calling, absolution)
XIV Temperance (balance, moderation, patience, purpose, meaning)
XIX The Sun (fun, warmth, success, positivitity, vitality)

I reasoned with the Lisa Frank deck that while my actions were rough yesterday, I was doing it to stand my ground. I asked for advice going forward. I feel that my spirit guides think that my conversation yesterday was a moment of absolution; I've finally convinced myself that my ex is a waste of my time and energy. It was a rebirth for my heart. Now I must focus on patience, finding my own inner light... if I do that, someone worthwhile will make their way to me. Again, I still think I should not be dating for a while. I can't seem to stop myself from checking dating apps after an emotional argument with my ex, so I admittedly did talk to some new guy yesterday. But I'm not going to go on any dates any time soon. I want to feel that happiness from the Sun card.
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Day 62: I release the world from my control

Intention of the day: Meditate on releasing my need to be in control. Trust that things will all be taken care of by the Universe. Morning writing: I had a nice long meditation in my morning routine today. It's Friday and my boss is out for a vacay so if I'm a little late it's not a big deal. Besides, things will all be taken care of by the Universe! I have had control issues for a while. Insecurity makes you want to try to control everything that you can, as a defense mechanism. You think that if you control how people act or where they go, then they will act and do whatever you want and you will not get hurt. This is unhealthy and simply not possible. I can't control anything except for myself, my actions, and my reactions. My relationship with my ex was toxic because I wanted to control him. I wanted him to be the perfect version of himself that was inside my head. But that person isn't real and the real guy didn't want to be that perfect self, for whatever...
Post a Comment
Read more

Day 108: I am the One who is experiencing itself as all of creation

Intention of the day: Always remember that I am made of the same divine light as the rest of the Universe. We are all of one, and one is within us all. Morning writing: I made it! The book is complete. This is the final lesson. It's a bit of a reiteration of some previous lessons but still a good one to end on. Remember that I am made of the same energy as other people. As the trees and animals, and inanimate objects too. This planet is made of atoms just like I am. This Universe is composed of atoms. If you zoom out far enough... this Universe looks like an atom. We are all the same oneness, energy and light. It is always moving and changing as it works to stay in balance. That is the yin and yang of this energy, the magnetism of it. There will always be bad with good, that's part of the balance. Without motion there is no life. So now the book is over. I am not sure if this blog will continue as frequently, we'll just see how that goes. I will try to check in, but I m...
Post a Comment
Read more

Day 10: I invite myself to fully experience everything I feel

Intention of the day: Let my body be my sanctuary where I can regain my strength and feel grounded. Let my emotions be real but not control my entire self and not affect my entire day. Morning writing: This one is difficult for me. I get emotional very easily. I treat this with my self-medication to help me keep my cool. But as evidenced by the existence of this blog, I'm still not entirely "together." I understand what the book is TRYING to say, but I think I already feel all my emotions pretty well. So I delved deeper into the secondary message of today's ritual: my body is my rock. My body is a constant, silent warrior where my crazy head sits on top. If I need to get out of a bad head space or calm my incessant inner monologue, I can use my new meditation techniques to regain my strength and composure. The bigger issue is acknowledging when my thoughts are becoming toxic, and being cognizant of the tools I have to change my tune.
Post a Comment
Read more