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Day 35: I feel the ways I resist life and I let go

Intention of the day: Continue to be aware of the tightness of resistance. Focus on feeling it and then letting it go with an exhale.

Morning writing: I kind of feel like this is the same lesson three days in a row but I guess certain topics really have to be drilled into you. I know exactly what the feeling is - it's a tightness in my chest, right around where my heart is. I know this b/c I've been feeling lonely and sad and this is where I feel the resistance. It hurts in a non-painful way. It's hard for me to make it go away. Today I plan to go for a long walk and maybe go to the movies by myself. I don't want to stay alone in my room.

I've been feeling regret for breaking up w/the ex. The new guy is not around anymore. Now I just feel like I have nobody and it sucks. But I need to be strong and remember that I cannot rely on other people to make me feel happy. I need to find happiness within.

Tarot Past/Present/Future:

II The High Priestess (intuition, higher powers, mystery, subconscious mind)
XVIII The Moon (illusion, fear, anxiety, insecurity, subconscious)
XII The Hanged Man (suspension, restriction, letting go, sacrifice)

I asked, how can I stop being sad? My interpretation is that I've been a bit high and mighty towards others, demanding to be treated like a princess. However, presently I am filled with anxiety. Perhaps the Hanged Man means I need to let go of this princess mentality to truly find happiness.

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