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Day 11: I am not my mind

Intention of the day: Do not let my insecurities stop me from doing the things I want to do.

Morning writing: I am always thinking to myself. I don't know if everyone does this, but I have that kind of "Wonder Years" inner monologue going most of the time. Not talking in third person or anything, but 'Kevin' really doesn't shut up. (Note to self: Find Wonder Years and binge watch it.) Sometimes the thoughts in my head turn insecure. OK a lot of the time. Insecurity is my go-to emotion when things don't go my way, about to do something with an uncertain outcome, or when I just don't know how else to react. Is that because of society? Hormones? My personal experiences? Probably all of the above. It makes me shy and sometimes this stops me from doing something that I'd otherwise want to do. For example, when there's a cute guy at work, I'll avoid talking to him at all costs... even though he's probably the only person I actually want to talk to. I know that this is slightly more complex b/c I won't date a coworker. In other situations too - I could go to a bar by myself and sing karaoke to my heart's content. But I won't go alone. I need a cheerleader, an outside source telling me to go for it. I have trouble putting myself out there when I'm by myself. I want to blend in and not be noticed when I'm by myself. When I'm with a friend, or if someone is encouraging me, I definitely come out my shell more. Why is this? My mind is limiting me. My spirit inside wants more, and my brain in human form is too insecure! This shall not stand! I must make a bigger effort to let my spirit take control.
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